


Hulk

by wanderingsmith



Category: The Expendables (Movies)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-20
Updated: 2015-11-02
Packaged: 2018-02-21 17:15:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2476064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wanderingsmith/pseuds/wanderingsmith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Barney's like the fucking Hulk when you go after Lee.<br/><i>E2 interrupted.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Gadhar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gadhar/gifts).



> Disclaimer: I ain't got no money, and nobody'd be daft enough to pay me for this. As it is thought, so let it be said; you make the toys, I play with 'em.
> 
> CONTEXT  
> Rejig of E2 plane scene. Poor red-shirt-Billy (trek reference, lol) doesn't exist. Toll helped Barney hold safe door. Lee sent off on sniper duty. They got the computer.
> 
> Prompt is from a comment on Fireball. Which is still frustrating me. 
> 
> ha. got last-minute-inspired to emphasize the violence after watching Equalizer -an excellent movie I muchly recommend.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Canon-Typical Violence  
> ..then sap

Stepping over wreckage to get away from the plane, Barney threw Caesar a pat on the shoulder, smiling, "You're strong."

Still smiling, content the job was done and they would soon be clear of the agency, he pulled his radio, "Christmas! Come on down. We're outa here."

The lack of immediate smart-ass comeback killed his grin and brought his gun suddenly at the ready; Lee would never keep him waiting without reason during an op. He tried the radio one last time, "Christmas!" The rest of the gang had by then caught the change in stance and fanned out around him, guns ready.

"Fuck! Let's go!"

The memory of their earlier joking stroll in the woods burned at the back of Barney's mind as they crouch ran for the overlook, silent as ghosts and every sense looking for the trouble.

When Caesar's hand went up, they all converged on him, starting to hear the same voice he had. Heavy accent; French, maybe.

"Come now, just tell me how long before they call you, surprises should be for birthdays, non?"

Moving from cover to cover, now, they got closer, seeing the company of bad guys fanned out in the open area ahead.

 

Gatling heavy in his hand, Caesar wished they'd hear Christmas, but the bastard's continued cajoling and threatening said the brit was still alive, conscious, and probably glaring bloody murder.

"Your dear friend the old boxer, he should have known better than to send you into such danger alone. Not very nice of him."

Then they managed to reach the last line of bushes at the edge of the clearing and Caesar heard the sound of a fist on flesh and found Christmas; unsurprisingly in the middle of the ring of bad guys, arms tied behind his back while a moustached little fuck threw punches at his face and stomach. And some Mr.Death wannabe fucking held a knife dripping blood that was no doubt responsible for the nasty cuts down Christmas' chest and face.

He had his gun up, hearing the others doing the same around him, and picking targets even before Barney dropped his gun, broke cover and ran like a tank at the knifeman.

 

Lee was counting down the minutes in his head, knowing Barney'd be on the way the minute he tried to reach the radio Lee had managed to silence when the bastards had appeared out of the mist.

He'd tried to get through their ring, but too many of them were almost as good kickboxers as he was, and when one got a lucky kick into his diaphragm, he'd dropped. The little scene this fucking 'Vilain' was putting on when he obviously didn't need any answer from Lee was fucking pissing him off, but he fucking *refused* to give the fucking drama queen the pleasure of a word. Let along his prickless little sidekick.

Finally, raising his head from another fucking knock on his fucking spleen, his eyes caught movement past the loose circle of outward-pointed guards and his heart stopped to see Barney break cover and run at them. The contorted fury in those features said clear as day there was no plan behind that gunless charge, but before the shock of anyone being so stupid wore off the bad guys, Lee heard the shots from the rest of the still-hidden team, and, in the resulting chaos, the bullets that *did* start to fly for Barney weren't clean shots. He somehow covered the distance to Lee and his 'interrogators' without being cut down; and never slowed. Flew right into Vilain, ignoring the poor fucker's stupidly overconfident grandiose babbling and waving knife, and driving him to the ground.

The sound of the first punch snapped Lee out of his own stupid funk and he jackknifed to his feet with a snarl, adrenaline pumping, out of little fucker's loosened grip, and spun a kick at his head, then watched him jerk sideways from a high calibre shot to the chest.

A fast look around showed the last couple bad guys dropping where they still stood firing at the forest, and the other Expendables rising out of their cover. And Barney hulking over the downed Vilain, growl grunted through clenched, bared teeth with every punch hammered into the bloodbath that already was the fucker's face.

Shit. Lee limp-ran for Barney's side, shouting "Enough!" as he rammed his not-dislocated left shoulder, with all his weight and strength behind it, at Barney's right, and managed to catch him just right so he toppled a few feet sideways.

Lee was still stumbling to get his balance back when Barney got right back on his feet and dove at the unmoving Vilain, driving his heavy knife in the centre of his chest, double-fisted, leaning his weight on it, animal snarl still twisting his face. And Lee's head hung for a second, angry and tired, regret for his friend's pain cutting deeper than Vilain's knife ever could have.

He finally stepped next to Barney, using his quietest voice, "Barney. Cut me loose."

He felt more than saw Caesar step toward him and shook his head without looking away from the mindless fury that had escaped the adamantium shackles Barney kept on it. Without changing his tone, he repeated, "Barney."

And Barney got to his feet, stiff and jerky like a wooden puppet, face still frozen in its mask of rage, leaving the knife nailing to the ground the sadistic fucker who thought the Expendables' commander would go down easy. The old mercenary stepped closer without a change of expression and leaned down to pull one of Lee's thigh knives, then stepped behind him, Lee standing still and taking a second to give rare thanks that he'd gotten through to the man.

Feeling his hands loosen from their fucking painful position, Lee carefully turned to face his friend, gingerly flexing his fists, unable to rub his wrists with his shoulder out. Sharp eyes locked on Barney's almost unseeing gaze, he spoke casually, "They were waiting for me at the overlook, knew one of us would come."

Before he could go on, Barney looked over Lee's shoulder, and suddenly his eyes, though still furious, weren't mindless, and when Lee turned to follow them, were zoomed on Maggie. And then Barney was stalking forward, snarling, "What the hell was in that safe? What-"

Lee scrambled to throw himself in front of him before he reached the woman, flinching as the sudden move pulled at his stiffening injuries. He could feel movement behind him, familiarity naming Toll and Caesar moving to stand between Lee and Maggie.

He grabbed at Barney with his good arm and squeezed between his shoulder and neck, *hard*, wishing he could shake him, "Barney! Stop it! Revenge isn't worth it!"

"He'd have KILLED you!"

Ignoring the roar that wasn't backed by any resistance to his hold, he shifted his grip to Barney's blood-covered hand and laid it on his own already bloodied throat, pressing fingertips to his pulse, shouting back, "He DIDN'T! Feel me. Feel my pulse. I'm ALIVE and I'm FINE!" Or he would be, soon enough.

He didn't want to say more, but Barney's eyes weren't clearing of rage as they flickered between staring at Lee's bleeding face and staring over his shoulder to where he knew Maggie stood. "Don't get me killed going after them for no reason." He kept his grip on that hand so Barney couldn't pull away as his head jerked back as though slapped. Lee's voice dropped, absolutely hating this. "Barney. I'm O. K. You have GOT to get past this. He claimed to have an army at his call. There's no reason to take that on on our own."

Barney stared into his eyes, breathing hard, almost visibly wrestling the demon back under control. Fingers unmoving from Lee's pulse. Lee aware of the guys steps away, bearing silent witness.

"He's dead. Leave the rest of the bad guys for the fucking agency to deal with."

\--

"Don't"

Maggie, about to walk past Lee, turned to look at him.

"Don't go near him." It wasn't an order or a threat; and he was glad to see when she recognized the advice.

"I wish to explain."

Lee shook his head and kept calm, dead-serious eyes locked on her, "Don't go near him."

Finally, with a last regretful look toward Barney, Maggie sat next to him, curiosity in her eyes as she watched him. "Is he so dangerous?"

He nodded at the rest of the team, sitting in a half-circle together and splitting their time between throwing wary glances toward Barney, and toward the forest still around them, "Notice they're not going near him either?"

She continued watching Lee for long moments, but he ignored her now, minding the camp stove with forced calm. "But you are not afraid."

Lee gave her a mirthless smile, "I'm the only one he's *not* dangerous to right now." Pouring out his pot and turning off the gas, since everyone else had had their turn already, he got up and limped to Barney's isolated spot with the camp coffee in his good hand, automatically shifting his resocketed shoulder in its sling.

Handing over the drink, he stood in front of Barney, staring at his still-stiff features, "Cooling down?"

There was no response, but Barney took a sip of coffee. Lee nodded to himself, sitting next to him on his log, good shoulder rubbing Barney's, staring into the cold night together. They had what should be another four or so hours of downhill march to get back to the plane, and the damn stab-wound in Lee's thigh was slowing them enough to make that time a lot longer. He'd finally given in to Barney's sideways glares and admitted he needed a break, so everyone had taken the chance to swallow some food and warm liquid, even if no one felt safe enough to make real camp.

Sitting still, the bloody chill was getting through the underlayer Barney had insisted on giving him to use over his sliced-up clothes, but he wasn't about to complain. Barney was still too out of it to appreciate teasing. And Lee's stubbornness in continuing to hike through the pain had too obviously made the tension in him rise again. He couldn't do anything to make it worse. To hurt the man any more than he already had.

Barney's silence, as they walked and now, left him with too much time to think, even with the watchful eyes they were all keeping for more trouble. And none of his thoughts were good. The instinct that had had him hold Barney's hand against himself had eventually managed to kick awareness into him. Awareness of the gentle care that had set and taped his shoulder and the cuts that still bled, while the others stood protective watch around them. The same gentleness that had held his hands before the rope binding them was cut. Gentle. With death in his eyes.

Not that it was the first time the creature had gotten out, but the way he snarled and went into fight stance at anyone getting in his personal space was all they'd seen, before; the way he was voluntarily handling Lee, in contrast, was damning. And frankly, if anyone got near Barney with anything but friendly intention, right now, *Lee* might just snarl and lose it.

In this damned silence he kept replaying the day's earlier conversations. But with an unpleasantly clearer sight. Clear ear for the hurt barely hidden under Barney's ragging.

Hell, clear ear on his own tone when he'd walked into the hangar to find a woman ogling Barney's bike while Barney got the plane ready.

Frowning at the whole mess, he was debating either making noise about moving on or stealing some of that coffee, when his damn phone rang.

Feeling Barney tense up, Lee flinched a bit as he took it out, having half-expected the call. Fucking mess he'd made. He dropped the damn thing and stomped on it, *hard*, with his good leg. The smash was entirely too tiny to provide satisfaction.

"That a statement?"

He turned to give Barney a steady look, "An apology. I never meant to-" he tried to make his jaw work, but the damn words just wouldn't come. They didn't do real 'feelings' at the best of times. And this was not the best of times for either of them; his shredded skin, bruised insides, and throbbing shoulder all chorused to remind him how *not best* this all was.

But Barney just watched him, expression finally getting steadier, losing the madness. The real Barney taking full command even as Lee watched him back, relieved; even if it was the glum martyr part of him coming out first. "You owe me nothing. I just hate to see you get hurt."

Fucking mess. Outwardly he just shrugged, knowing this wasn't the time to get into this. They really needed to get moving again. But he did owe an explanation, damn Barney's thoughts otherwise, "Lost sight of priorities."

"Nothing wrong with wanting a home."

"Got a home. Home's where the heart is. Forgot. Wasn't thinking."

Barney actually manage to quirk a smirk at that, to Lee's inner cheering. "It too small for thinking?"

And now Lee had to blink several times, eyes widening before his shoulders lost their tense set and he grinned bright joy into the dark eyes that had finally lost the veil hiding the laid-back pleasure that usually lived in their depths, "Did you seriously just challenge me to a cock measure-off? Can you imagine what our guest-female is going to have for comments?"

He watched Barney's smile creep out before he reached an arm to grip the far side of Lee's neck and gently tug him closer under his arm, "No challenge. Love ya just as you are, Christmas."

Lee's grin melted completely into a warm glow that no amount of cuts and bruises and dislocated joints had a chance of getting through. He shifted down a couple inches so he could let his head rest on Barney's shoulder, reminding himself he couldn't actually rest until they were the fuck away from this bloody area. "Barney?"

"Umm?"

"Love you too."

"Sap."

Lee snorted, "Bald pots and black-haired kettles."

This time the silence didn't sting at Lee, simply holding a few moments of peace, a promise of better things. His mind leaving him to enjoy the touch, and the familiar sound of the guys murmuring nearby, though they were no doubt also itching to move on to safer pastures.

"Barney?"

"Yeah?"

"You know what I'm thinking?"

"Wouldn't try to guess."

"I was missing the forest for the trees."

Lee felt the shoulder under his head move as Barney nodded, "Most people do. Very poetic thought."

"Shut up. Should just have invited you out for supper." Or a movie. Umm, what kind of movie should he take Barney to?

Barney, unaware of the plans being made around him, was quiet, head tilting a bit against Lee's, voice giving away his confusion, "Missing you."

"Never mind."

\--

They'd made it to the plane and then to the rendezvous and home without further interference. Agency calling it square and promising to do something about the group behind Vilain. Maggie off with the annoying Mr.Church.

Lee had even managed to sneak a call in to Lacy while Barney, almost 100% back to himself, was trading barbs with the agency fucker. He'd been psyching himself to be a shit and break her heart with the reminder that it was hers or Barney's and Barney would *never* fucking betray him.

And then a guy had answered and he'd felt as light as a fucking ballet dancer. Had called himself the cable guy and asked to speak to her anyway, just because assuming was stupid, and then cut off her weird half-apology half-accusation and wished her well before hanging up; and grinning at Barney so brightly as he walked back to them that the man thought he'd been in enough pain to decide to take morphine.

 

Now even the team had all skedaddled off and they were the only ones left in the hangar to chill down; and for Lee to put into effect plans polished during the flight. Limping slowly back from the fridge with fresh beers, he fished through the mp3 player he'd retrieved from his locker and managed to put on [Il Divo's 'The man you love'](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhHiArf6mU0) as he passed the speakers to plug it in before getting to their seats, passing Barney his bottle, and lounging back in his own chair as the music slipped into the quiet evening.

Almost with the first note, Barney turned to him with brows raised, "Since when do you have opera music on your player??"

Ha. Good opening, thanks Barney. "..15 years or so."

Barney blinked in surprise, and then slow wide-eyed recognition brought a content grin to his face as he obviously did the math and figured out that 15 years ago was when an Italian whose idea of dressing up consisted of wearing an undone shirt over his Tee, but who still went on raves about Italian opera music after a glass or two of wine, showed up next to Lee's barstool and offered his suicidal self a job.

Never able to resist, the very reason he never chose to listen to music around anyone, Lee hummed with the Spanish, but then started to mutter along with the English lyrics, conscious of what he was doing and ready to deliberately change 'my girl' to 'my friend'; Barney tended to need every hint when he wasn't in the field.

Even with it having been the 'plan', it still took brass to make his voice rise, from muttering that 'friend', to singing, for lack of a more honest term, the next words.

"It's more than enough, just to be the man you love."

Letting his words hang in the air even as the song continued, he glanced up through his lashes, smirking a little to himself at the blatant move, wondering what expression he'd catch from his intended audience.

Softest fucking look in those eyes that could so easily hold death. Until Barney caught Lee watching, and then he shook his head, obviously trying to smirk, but his expression stayed soft, voice as gravely as a Harley's engine, "*That* a statement?"

Keeping that expression in sight, Lee took a deep breath, then he set the bottle on the floor and rose to take the step to stand in front of the man, good hand out, eyes serious now, "A question. An offer."

 

That.. was not the reaction Barney'd expected. A smashed phone flashed through his mind and he swallowed hard, standing, reading the uncharacteristically peaceful certainty in Lee's face. Forest. Supper.

'A question'.

Lee of all people, now of all times, knew what he was; what being near him invited. His cheeks and neck still barely scabbed, though he'd wiped off Barney's bloody fingerprints as he reluctantly let Barney clean and patch up what he could of his body. Vilain's words a clear enough arrow for even Lee to see why he was hurt.

But. He knew Lee wouldn't leave. Not to avoid danger from bad guys. Maybe not even to avoid dealing with Barney's stupid protective reflexes.

"I do sorta want to change the world." He took the hand Lee still held out in both of his and, wondering which of them was the worst sap, stepped close enough not to pull on his wounded body when he lifted the hand to his lips. He grinned as Lee's eyes lit with laughter instead of calling him the old fool he was. Crisscrossing cuts and abrasions from a bad fight gave the freshly-scrubbed skin a taste of blood as he gave it a kiss, but that was Lee. Would always be Lee. And he wouldn't trade him for anything.

He closed the last inches between them, keeping the hand in one of his between them, the other curling around Lee's skull, soft with that oddly fine hair, to encourage it just sideways enough. Stopped with his lips a fraction of an inch from the brit's to whisper, "But I *will* love you for all my life."

"Sap." Soft. Soft voice and soft kiss; outlined in sandpaper that branded him. That he'd feel the burn of tomorow.

"You chose the music." Which he had to admit was damn nice for standing in a dark, greasy hangar and kissing his smart-assed friend.

"Is it true Pavarotti makes sex better?"

At that one, Barney pulled back to stare, brows flown up, "That's a new one."

Lee frowned at .. well, at his pulled-back lips, which made Barney grin, feeling stupidly young, all of a sudden, as the brit grumbled, "New what?"

Lee's hand wriggled free of his and slid up to his nape to tug his shivering self back closer as he answered as calm as he could fake, "New pickup line." Lee's resulting chuckles didn't really interfere with laying more of the fucking sweet, playful kisses they'd been exchanging like kids on a first date on him, and Barney waited until he settled back into the embrace before pulling back just enough to add, "Got CDs at home. And a bed." He could take a hint, and this was one he had zero objections to.

"Good plan."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so yeah. ch2 is being held hostage. it might just get nixed now that I've been distracted by someone who knows who they are. -shrug- you could had sex, but nooo, had to make me bawl my eyes out....-shakes head- bad plan. really bad plan.
> 
> _THE MAN YOU LOVE  
>  IL DIVO_
> 
> _Si me ves hallarás en mis ojos el amor  
>  eres tú la mitad que a mi vida completó  
>  Lo que soy te daré sin miedo a algun error  
>  creo en ti y dejaré en tus manos mi ilusión.  
>  Quiero estar dentro de tu corazón,  
>  Poder lograr que me ames como yo._
> 
> _(  
>  google translate:  
>  If you see me in my eyes you find love  
>  you're the half of my life completed  
>  What I am I'll give you without fear of any error  
>  believe in you and leave it in your hands my dream .  
>  I want to be inside your heart,  
>  Make love to me as I am.  
>  )_
> 
> _I only wanna be the man  
>  to give you everything I can  
>  every day and every night  
>  love you for all my life.  
>  I don't wanna change the world  
>  as long as you're my girl friend  
>  it's more than enough,  
>  just to be the man you love._
> 
> _Quiero ser el lugar donde puedas refugiar  
>  el temor y calmar en mis brazos tu ansiedad  
>  Desde hoy voy a ser todo para ti  
>  Hasta ayer te soñé y ahora estás aquí  
>  Quiero oir tus secretos, lo que sueñes descubrir,  
>  quiero amarte así._
> 
> _(  
>  google translate:  
>  I wanna be the place where you can shelter  
>  fear in my arms and soothe your anxiety  
>  From today I will be all for you  
>  Until yesterday I dreamed and now you're here  
>  I want to hear your secrets, discover what you dream ,  
>  I want to love like that.  
>  )_


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing but a bit of explicit sex, lol

The plan didn't survive first contact with their libidos.

They did make it to Barney's, though it was close. -"You keep doing that, I'll crash the truck." "I'm not even touching you." "You are a fucking tease, Christmas." "Drive a few miles over the limit and I'll stop." "Jerkoff." "Nah. Just staying warm." "What? Too old to double-down?" "..You're just lucky I can resist a challenge or we'd see how fast I can make you crash this thing, Mr. faster than light."-

Unfortunately, Lee's thigh had decided to take the time siting still as an excuse to freeze and he just about pitched forward when he swung it out of the truck and put his weight on it. He managed to catch himself on the door with his good hand and a gasp and just hung on for a minute, swearing under his breath as the pain slowly ebbed. Then Barney was there and carefully lifted the arm around his neck and put a hand on Lee's far hip, taking his weight completely off the leg and the tension off his bad shoulder.

"Thanks."

"You re-routed too much blood."

Lee choked on a laugh, glad the pain was all but gone, "Totally worth it to watch you try to pretend your zipper's not killing you."

"Idi-" Lee's tongue stole the word, the arm Barney had kindly wound around his own neck now holding his mouth steady to be licked into. 

Fuck yeah, just like that. Moustache so soft and catching in the three days of scruff Lee hadn't tried to shave with his left hand. So fucking soft lips parted to let him in. Thick tongue only offering minor resistance to exploration. Hops from the beer, tobacco from the cigar just before they landed, chocolate from the candy bar he'd convinced Barney to share to celebrate life when they crossed onto continental US airspace. 

Barney.

He shouldn't already feel like he knows this taste, shouldn't be so comfortable demanding possession. 

But he stood close enough to Barney to breathe the same air more than often enough, and had for all these years. Shared cigars, drinks and cutlery. 

And Barney had humoured his bossy streak with a fond smile from day one. That their skin actually touched was the only newness here. That he was licking, that he was inside Barney- Oh fuck! The sharp pulse of need that reality sent to his stomach made him groan, hips jerking forward looking for friction.

Barney's hands on either side of his jaw jerked them apart with a pained moan from both, "Inside, Christmas. Before we're arrested for indecent exposure."

Lee swore under his breath, wishing his other hand was available to grab a handful of evidence he wasn't the only one driven to distraction by his best friend. "Fine, let's get a move on; we had a plan."

He let Barney help him up the walk rather than waste time arguing. Not that he didn't enjoy a good argument, especially with Barney, but his balls definitely insisted it was their turn to have fun with the man.

As soon as his stubborn friend was through the door, Lee crowded him back against it. Barney's chuckles mixed with the slam as the wood was pushed closed with the sudden impact of their bodies, but then were silenced as Lee picked up where he'd been pulled away. His good hand on the wall by his target's right ear and letting his weight lean where he had his crotch firm against Barney's to give his arm a chance at safety. 

The sweetness from the hangar was long gone, replaced with hot need. They had faced battle. They had survived once again. And they'd discovered that years of affection and buried attraction didn't have to be held down anymore. Sweetness had overwhelming competition.

Years of denying the frequent daydream of slipping his tongue between those lips; the reality turned out to be better. Barney's tongue returning touch for hungry touch was enough to make him shiver, arousal tingling through his veins. Barney's wide hands restless on his ass transmitting an obvious need for more. And when Barney responded to just a nibble on his tongue with a groan and a rock of his hips, grinding proof of his interest against Lee, there was no way he could resist. He really *had* thoroughly *appreciated* the sight of that strained zipper in the flashes the streetlights gave him. 

It took a few seconds to force himself to pull away from the dirty dancing their tongues had been doing, though. Resisting kiss-swollen lips, shining with *his* spit, and trying to follow his retreating touch to the sound of a whine he would *never* have imagined hearing from the self-possessed mercenary, *that* he only managed by dropping his good hand and slipping it between them to palm a handful of hot flesh. Fuck yeah, Barney. Hot and hard, and you are *mine*!

"Yours. But this was *not* the plan."

Lee grinned at the moan bracketing that poor excuse for a complaint, ignoring the fact that he'd obviously spoken some of those thoughts aloud. Taking the time to cup and squeeze his coveted handful, he stared into a face he knew better than his own, knew in laughter, pain, and hatred. But he'd never known it masked with passion, never seen the eyes glitter with hunger. They got it wrong, he thought randomly: beauty is in the *heart* of the beholder. 

"Lee-"

"Shut up." He'd only pulled out of that tongue-fuck early because he needed to use the hand from his bad arm to undo Barney's jeans and he couldn't do that without paying attention, so he got to it and worked the compromised limb free of the sling and moved with care to unbutton and unzip, moaning faintly at the stiff cock that eagerly popped through the slit in boxers without any help needed. He took a ragged breath and forced himself to secure his arm back up, eyes fixed on blood-dark flesh, just visible in the dim light, half-aware of licking his lips.

Ignoring the hands at his neck that Barney probably told himself were to stop him, he dropped down to his knees, good leg taking his weight as long as possible.

"Lee-"

"Shut up." And he leaned forward and licked at the already damp tip. The thunk of Barney's head on the door was enough to make him skip teasing, lay his good hand on Barney's thigh to keep him controlled, and slowly suck his way down, the knowledge soaking into him that after all these years, his mouth really was filling with the hot swollen length of Barney's aroused cock. Without even subterfuge or panic to excuse anyone. His mouth on Barney's cock. Making Barney whimper. 

And plead, now.

Shaking hands came to rest on the sides of his neck as he just as slowly pulled back off, working his tongue round and round the shaft. When the hands spazzed as he swiped the thick vein on the underside, he hummed, lost in the pleasure of giving pleasure, deliberately stroking up and down with the tip of his tongue. Then, on an old memory, he pulled his mouth off, ignoring the unrecognizably throaty sounds of denial it caused, and tilted his head to suck at that underside, one mouthful at a time, from tip to root. 

At the first touch to the base, the hands on him fisted, a low wordless cry of need echoing in the small space of the entryway.

He slid back onto the shaft in response, sucking it down faster than before, the path already slick, his lips and chin all wet with the spit leaking out of his mouth, adjusted, now, to the thick, hard, burden. He could feel it flex and pulse, stiffen even more, and it made him shudder. Need was there at the back of his throat, hunger for more; to feel this inside, to be deep inside Barney. 

But not enough to forsake his prize. He wanted to hear that voice lose all control, *wanted* to taste the certainty of this new reality in his mouth.

"Fuck! Lee-"

The hands crept to his head, held stiff and not applying any pressure at all and he could feel the thigh under his hand rock-hard with holding still. The picture came of just what Barney really wanted; and the thought, of Barney needing him, finding his pleasure in him- the slick of pleasure down his belly made him moan and his hand moved without thought, coming to press Barney's hands harder on his skull as he loosened his lips, pulled back his teeth and just bobbed on him, sliding his hand into the open flap of Barney's jeans to cup an ass cheek.

And Barney, or his body, got the invitation and started thrusting. Slow and hesitant at first, as though expecting to be stopped, but then a moaned stream of swearing started sharp hip jerks; short thrusts, but fast, and the hands on his skull held him in place, his name mixed with that swearing, desperation soaking them, the heavy muscle under Lee's hand flexing. And then the whole powerful body froze; except that Lee could feel a flow come up against his lips. Moaning approval, he tightened his lips and sucked, hard, shuddering and almost unable to resist jerking himself off at the rough wordless shout of pure pleasure above him.

Barney's hips fell bonelessly back against the door, hands stroking Lee's head languidly, and Lee swallowed down, eyes closed on the strange flavour, heart pounding with the passing adrenaline rush of danger. A few last licks, trying not to be greedy on a cock that would be too sensitive soon, and he finally pulled back, shivering, forehead on Barney's belly. Breathing hard, head messed by the closeness he hadn't realized he needed so much, but body too tense with the need to come that was held back by the need for Barney to be with him, he let the warm musky scent settle into his memory, his hand dropping to cup himself; just a touch, just-

One of the hands at his head went to his good arm and faintly tugged upward, "Com' here." Barney's voice, always gravely from years of cigars, was slurred with pleasure, and fuck that could become damned addictive to make happen.

Lee had to take a breath and concentrate to be able to stand with his cock so stiff and the one leg not really able to hold him, not to mention the not-distant-enough soreness of the rest of him; his appreciation for the hand that got stronger on him, and actually did help him up, was very real. 

Barney's half-closed eyes were pitch black, lips softened like he was drunk: tooth-marked and so swollen... And not a chance Lee could resist that. Even if Barney's hands weren't on his jaw pulling him in he would have been leaning in to take a bite for himself of that swollen lower lip. The resulting groan vibrated on his nerves even before Barney shifted his head and bit back, eager tongue sucking at *his* lip and following to his chin. 

His turn to moan at the feeling of suction on his skin, imagination primed. He ended up slouching against Barney's side, bad shoulder just barely clear, good left hand loose on Barney's cock, his own cock grinding on Barney's hip. Just like this! He could come with just another minute of this.

Then the world spun and the hard door was at *his* back, Barney's tongue thrusting and licking and god yes please! Barney's fingers on his button and zipper and- holy fucking christ yes! Tight thick rough: those were Barney's fingers wrapped around his cock and he had to moan even just at the thought of Barney's magically fast gun hand, wrapped around his swollen, needy cock. And- shit! Jerking. Him. Off!

His head fell back on the door with a whimper of need, hips rocking in that quickly tugging hand. And warm wet breath suddenly blew on his ear. "I will never complain about that smart mouth of yours again, Lee." Teeth biting down on his neck, slow and steady. As Lee's attention split between neck and cock, constant stream of 'yes' 'please' 'harder' panted out, the teeth lifted, Barney's breath faster on Lee's skin, and *that* made Lee moan as much as the rest. 

"Fuck I really do hope you can double-down," Barney's hand squeezed tighter, moving a little quicker, "Want this. Inside me."

That was worlds more feeling than Lee could fight against. The fire was streaming out of his balls before he'd even become aware that Barney had bloody well talked him off embarrassingly fast.

He came back from the momentary bliss to soft lips mouthing on his neck, hard body weighing on his good side; a palm resting, proprietarily, on his cock.

And the memory of those last words crystal clear, and he could only sigh, "Fuck yes."

The lips moved from his neck to just touch lips in a slow kiss as he stayed still, content to bask in the moment and in Barney's nearness, his mind slowly ticking over. "I could hold with one arm." His voice was drowsy and he well understood the smug smile he felt curve Barney's lips, he just didn't give a fuck. He had the memory of *his* losing it, bitter taste still in his mouth. "But no way my leg'll take the abuse: you'll have to do the work."

The chuckle was almost silent, breath slipping into Lee's mouth, "Totally worth it."


	3. Cleanup

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's small. -whines but they're being **stubborn**!! ..and it's hard to lock onto them after all the pissed-off and hurt and depressed people I've been hearing/writing lately...

"I can hear you planning, so let's hear it."

Barney knew he aught to at least *try* to control his smirk, knew Lee must be able to feel it against his neck where Barney had gone back to nuzzling his already sore lips along the sandpaper and sweat. But that lazy, satisfied tone was as sweet on his ego as feeling Lee's cock jerk in his grip in tune with Barney's voice had been. As sweet as listening to Lee's voice tripping over itself begging him for more. It'd take a stronger man than Barney Ross'd ever claimed to be to not feel just a bit smug to get his cocky younger lover quite so riled.

Fuck it felt good to stop fighting himself, to just let himself fucking *feel* all the fucking chaotic *joy* Lee'd always created in him; and not have to be anything but.. the man who loved Lee. And whom Lee loved. Fuck... didn't that beat all, at the end of the day? That Lee chose *him*! **Wanted** him! Free and generous and so fucking *good* to him. 

Good *for* him; though *that* he'd known for years.

With a last deep breath, he forced himself upright against the urge to snooze away the endorphins, reluctantly drew his drying hand back to wipe on his pant leg, and made his eyes open to meet Lee's, already watching him with as much lazy pleasure as his voice had held. "Get you in the shower. Patch you up. Get me in the shower. Figure out what food we have or order in. Eat."

Lee grinned, slow and wide with joy, creases coming out besides his eyes that hadn't been there when they first met; his uninjured hand coming off the wall and sliding onto the ass of Barney's precariously hanging-on jeans, "Then fuck you blind."

Barney's breath caught on a shudder as the thought, spoken in Lee's gravelliest voice instead of that of Barney's own daydreams, rode his still-sensitized nerves. "Yesss." 'Fuck you blind'. God! Lee'd sucked him off minutes ago, and yet the shiver ripping through him still made his cock twitch. That his ass clenched was less of a surprise, if just as distracting as the thought of Lee's graceful, *hard* body against his. *Taking* him! Did they really need to eat?

Lee's lips coming to press on his pulled his attention back to the present and to Lee's grin, far softer now than he'd let show in public, "Good plan."

\--

Once Barney re-closed both their pants for the walk, he put an awkward-seeming arm around Lee's waist and turned them toward the bathroom. 

The off-kilter feeling between them made Lee knock his shoulder into Barney's, though gentle enough not to send them stumbling, "Very gallant. Not gonna start pulling my chair out, are ya?" 

Barney's snort was sharp enough that they almost *did* stumble, chuckles threading his words, "Only if you're having trouble sitting with your dress, sweetheart."

"Yeah, no, sorry, darlin'," Barney almost stumbled on his own hallway table, too busy rolling his eyes at Lee, and Lee just grinned back at him as he pushed the bathroom door open, " 'Fraid I'm liberated. Besides, heels interfere with the ability to kickbox the shit of any passing bad guy."

Both flinching from the bright light after Barney's dim hallway, Barney smiled at him more quietly, "So no gallantry and no dresses."

Nodding, Lee nonetheless didn't say a word to the gallant help with undressing. He *could* have gotten his own buttons undone, but leaning his ass against the sink to get the weight off his leg and keeping his sore chest and sorer arm unmoving wasn't a hardship. The excuse to have Barney's thick fingers touching him, however fleetingly, was a nice warm tease on his senses. 

And he'd rather keep his pain-risking for later, when the reasons to do so would be a damn sight more worthy than proving he wasn't weak to someone who already knew it.

"Coulda been gallant earlier: need to wash at least my underwear." He was smiling when Barney looked up with a faintly worried frown to take the sling and shirt off.

Losing the instant of concern, his old friend gave him a mock-regretful look as he quickly got Lee's pants undone, "Pants too; sorry about that. I'll lend you something. Or you can just walk around bare-assed until the wash is done." 

Barney's slow leer down Lee's naked body before he pulled his own still-buttoned shirt over his head held too much pleasure for its original teasing intent to work and Lee didn't try to resist laying his good hand on Barney's naked stomach and slowly sliding it up his chest, watching his scabbed-up hand slicking up the almost smooth skin in his own appreciation, over the tattoos that trimmed-out his shoulders, up his neck, and then onto his cheek, frowning when he noticed the reddened skin. When Barney raised a brow at his silence, he stroked a gentle thumb on a particularly scratched spot on his chin, "Sorry." Barney shrugged with a faint but happy smile but Lee still winced, "Not trying to shave with my left hand."

When Lee's hand let go, Barney got his pants undone as he watched Lee watching him, "Not that I mind, but if it's itching, you want me to?"

Lee blinked, understandably, in his opinion, distracted, 'want me to..'?? The hell? "Uh?"

Barney's unfamiliarly happy expression shifted back to the familiar sardonic one with rolled eyes, "Shave you."

And that was how he found himself sitting bare-assed on the cold closed toilet seat, chin tilted upward. Trying to ignore his sore chest at the position and keep his neck still, Lee muttered, "Weird feeling."

He was watching Barney, who was crouching to slide his plastic razor up Lee's throat in smooth stripes through the soap, not going near the two hairline slashes along the one side, his almost fucking *dreamy* expression giving Lee a queer peace as thick, calloused fingers held him in place gently, thumb stroking whenever it shifted its grip. Just the two of them in the small room. The whole house silent except for their regular breathing, the shlick of the blade through Lee's rough stubble and the shloshes of the plastic through the water in the sink; the occasional rattle of the distant fridge starting up. It was.. nice. Weird, but nice. 

Unsurprising that Barney's smirk at Lee's comment lacked its usual bite. "Not gonna cut your throat."

Lee snorted, gently to not move, the idea of not trusting Barney too far from the realm of possibility to merit comment. "Naw, 's not that. Just.. weird to have someone else... do something so intimate."

Oh fuck... Barney better never look at him that soft and loving in front of the guys! He wasn't sure he wouldn't jump him, audience be damned... "More intimate than sucking me off?"

Lee grinned slowly, enjoying the flare of heat that the words and memory both sent coursing through him, "Ha. Yeah, somehow." He kept watching Barney as he carefully went over his jawline before coming up to his chin. Watching, and thinking of listening to him let himself go. It was strange to remember that a couple days ago, he'd been willing to go through life without at least making an effort to have this. 

Finally registering how Barney locked onto him when he was lost to reason had ripped the restraints off the stubborn need in him to care for his old friend. Guard him from anything he *could*. Knowing too well there was a world of pain that he *couldn't* protect Barney from. Could only be there to catch him on the other side of. 

Stubborn need to give him everything he could to make up for all he'd lost. To *be* everything for him.

Barney straightened up when he started working on Lee's cheeks, expression still stuck in deep peace, his so slow glides of the blade seeming more like stroking than worried carefulness. Lee should be twitching by now, jittering in place at the silence and inaction. 

Instead he sat and watched Barney, eyes now flickering over all the warm bare skin so near. And he slowly felt a warm glow start in his chest as he realized *he* was giving him that satisfied peace. Then, pretty sure the shave was done, Lee felt his thumb slide carefully on the soap-residue-slick skin of his cheek, tracing near the worst cut, almost vertical down his right cheek, dug deep enough to scar raggedly, though not enough for Lee to be willing to go to the hospital. It was going to heal all the worse for the shallower diagonal cut that intersected it near the bottom, where it was deepest. From his quick look in the bathroom at the hangar, Lee figured there'd be at least *some* scarring from all 4 cuts, even though the 2 diagonals on the left were clean slices.

The vague dreaminess was gone, though Lee had to admit that Barney didn't look as grim as he might have expected. A hint of grief and anger, but- "Not gonna fixate on the scars, are you?"

"No," the smirk was only half-assed, but the eyes meeting Lee's were clear of his too-frequent guilt-trips, "You won't make me stick out so much, now you're not so pretty."

"Jerk." But Lee wondered if maybe there was more honest worry in that tease than he was supposed to notice. He stood up, Barney stepping back just enough so they weren't stepping on each other's toes, "You know what I think when I look at you?"

Barney stilled, staring at him silently, the eyes saying pretty damn plain to Lee that he was going to politely let Lee say what he wanted: and stoically disbelieve every word. And Lee took a minute to meet that stare with what he hoped came across as love. Maybe they'd spent too many years complimenting each other with insults; he couldn't give those eyes a few soft words. No matter how true they'd be. Couldn't brush it off with the soft raz of a thump to the shoulder.

Instead, he reached his good hand up and carefully stroked the fan of wrinkles at the corner of Barney's eyes, one after the other, with his index finger, starting with the easiest, even while still faintly amazed that he could touch like this. "I see the first time I made you laugh. On our second mission. I can never remember what I said, only that.." he shook his head, rueful at his younger self for falling so easily, "Don't know how you didn't notice the staring I did for weeks after that. You sealed your fate that day; no way I'd leave your side." Hadn't always been that simple, or easy, but the time or three that things had gotten frustrating enough that he'd actually considered leaving, he'd always ended up being reminded of the man behind the pigheaded guilt-stupids. Remembered that those eyes *could* smile. That he had a warm laugh that gave Lee peace.

He stroked his little finger in the grooves between Barney's eyes, which were warmer now, their stiff wariness passing with Lee's words, which Lee was grateful to see. "Every time I hear your voice get that quiet edge when you're worried about us in a bad spot. When you wish we could all be kept safe; even though you mostly let us take those risk. Because you know we'd hate anything else." Barney's eyes drooped almost shut with the short strokes and Lee decided to make sure he did it again; often. Maybe it'd help the man remember to let go of the shit once they got out of it.

He traced his middle finger down over the repeatedly-smashed, bumpy nose, and then smoothed, slightly helplessly over the soft moustache before touching the scars bracketing lips starting to quirk up with the enumeration, his breath catching when Barney's tongue licked at his fingertip. "..Every time I had to let you throw yourself into a fight with bad odds, because you let me take my fights and I have to let you have yours, even though you've been hurt enough and I'd really rather stand between you and every danger." 

Following the line of soft hair as long as he could, he pressed his thumb gently on the jowl line, "Every grin we've shared, every joke, every rag at each other or thrown at others while we stood together. Every damn word making life worth living another day of shit." For a minute Lee lost himself in some of them, wondering how he could have missed the love he'd felt, the love that had been in Barney's eyes and grin. They'd survived on that warmth without Lee ever giving a thought to what it meant, or what it *could* be.

"Lee."

Lee refocused at the feel of soft whiskers rubbing on his palm before warm lips pressed in. With a quick smile and thumb-stroke over those lips in acknowledgement, he shifted to find another target, finally reaching to trace the lines on Barney's forehead, and then temples, with his ring finger, "Slaps on the back, high-fives and hands up from the ground. The certainty that even if I can't see you, you are somewhere at my side or at my back." Even those occasions when Barney'd lost it, Lee'd never doubted his backup. 

He kept his look steady, even though Barney had long since started smiling, and cupped the point of his jaw in his hand, feeling Barney's hands come to rest lightly, stroking as they lay, on the skin of his waist, staring into eyes that had relaxed to accepting softness, "I see beauty from a life well lived, Barney; I see your heart and your soul." He leaned forward for a kiss, whispering, "And I *want* you. To touch, to stare at, to argue with. To have, to hold, to be held by. Mine." Forever, if he could swing it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> anyone interested in some snuggles and smut?

God... What could he say to that?? Words had never been his friends for stuff like this. Anyway, his throat was too thick with the burst of too goddamn big feeling crowding its way out of his chest. Instead, he reached a hand out and tugged on Lee's neck until their foreheads pressed together. His eyes closed and they breathed each other's air for a long quiet moment, letting the intensity burrow down.

Eventually he made himself lift his head and put his brain in a more familiar frame, huffing at Lee's faint resulting smirk.

Remembering all too well the last time he'd dislocated a shoulder, Barney insisted they shower together to keep Lee from the temptation of using his bad arm; figuring, all else aside, that he could distract the man from any rising frustration. And with no great regret, he thought, grinning at his own enthusiasm as he set the water temperature. Lee always had made him feel younger than his years, but this... it felt too damn good to love. And.. *be* loved. 

A poke in an ass cheek sent him looking behind himself to find a smirking brit. ”Whatever you're thinking, you said shower and food first."

Less than surprisingly, they were both half-hard before they even finished cleaning up; unlikely enough that Barney'd keep from reacting when allowed to look his fill, and run soapy hands all over Lee's bare skin, impossible when you added Lee's hand stroking the soap over *his* body. And the kissing was probably not his best idea... or did Lee start that?? Almost worse, though, was that hand carefully massaging shampoo through his hair. 

Except he could see Lee starting to hunch with the pain, and they both needed to eat. And it'd be better in a bed; and more recovered from the last run. 

None of which made it easier to stop stroking and kissing; not until Lee's stomach growled and they finally pulled apart with chuckles. 

"You were going to feed me?"

"I was," Barney grinned, "You distracted me." 

He damn near got distracted again drying off the uncharacteristically docile knifeman, but his own stomach was starting to complain about broken plans.

And when he started taping up Christmas' latest batch of injuries, the remnants of his humour slipped away. Beyond the unpleasant thought of his pain, the idea of Lee with scars hardly bothered him, up to and including ones that civilians would probably feel took away from his looks.

The memory of some bastard cutting him deliberately to get to Barney... *that* he'd have to work to get past. Lee's knowing look as Barney moved slow to keep his fingers steady butterflying the ragged edges together said he knew it.

But the bastard was good and dead. And... Lee was pretty damn good at *not* getting captured, generally; even by people trying to hurt Barney. And fuck if Barney was remotely willing to give this up. 

Lee's only currently working hand suddenly wrapped around his cock and Barney's attention snapped to his lover's eyes in surprise. " *I'm* thinking that every time I look at my face I'm going to remember you kissing this hand like you thought you were Don Juan."

Barney uncharacteristic sharp crack of laughter was loud in the small room.

\--

"I don't laugh often." Lee looked up from his beef lo mein, wondering at the non-sequitur, starting to frown at Barney's distant look, "That first time? You'd clapped my shoulder. The guys were still wary after I went-"

Suddenly getting it, Lee jerked his fork at the man sitting kitty-corner from him at the table and glared, " *Don't* say it." He didn't want to know what Barney would call the mindless fury that swallowed him, sometimes.

Barney looked at him steadily before slowly nodding acquiescence, much to Lee's surprise, "I was trying to lighten things up by teasing Louis."

"Louis! God... yeah, I remember now..." Christ.. so long ago. He could suddenly picture the campfire they'd been sitting around. And.. Gunner was the only guy still with them; though at least Pat the Rat and Bailey were still alive, bodyguarding somewhere in Europe.

Barney nodded, "Didn't work, of course. And then you clapped my shoulder and..." Lee stiffened, hearing something weird in Barney's voice, "And added to the joke... and I had to laugh. Because there we were, everyone... scared of-"

Shit- Lee reached and grabbed one of Barney's hands on the table, "Breathe." He suddenly realized he'd never actually heard Barney talk about the episodes before. He'd never seemed to react when others... or Lee, at least, referred to them, but now...

Barney's eyes had focused somewhere far past Lee's right shoulder, his voice still weirdly uneven, "And the new guy, who'd just seen it for the first time... *wasn't* scared or wary. Was touching me like we were old friends..."

"...I did know. When she saw how...close we were in that first op, Mallone came to see me. Said you were a good guy and a great boss, but I should be aware that there were times you were dangerous even to friends. I shrugged and said okay, but... I didn't believe her. Nothing could make me afraid of you." Barney was watching him, now, with a faintly uncomfortable blankness that Lee stared into steadily. He wasn't going to deny the madness was a problem, but it was one he'd signed up for willingly; signed up to be there for his friend, long before he got the hint that Barney could be more. "Are you aware... that you sometimes, with reasons, mind, snarl at them? At everyone?"

Barney shrugged, unapologetic, not that Lee expected differently.

"You aware you've never snarled at me?" When Barney went to open his mouth, Lee continued firmly, "As a joke, or shouting an order, sure, but never snarled *at* me. It never occurred to me to fear you. Only to wish I could help."

Barney's vague eyes took a few minutes to pull out of the past, and though Lee'd have let him do it without an audience, Barney'd turned his hand to hold Lee's: so he sat and watched quietly, thumb stroking back and forth over a repeatedly-smashed knuckle.

Weird to be so quiet together. But.. weirdly nice. Warm. Like this was right; like they belonged in a quiet house together without a job circling their thoughts and words.

\--

Barney had stepped into the living room as Lee enjoyed the last of his beer. He was staring blindly out the kitchen window to the backyard, feeling his sore muscles draining his energy and starting to think damn fondly of a soft bed, when suddenly, classical music trailed into the air, joined by a deep operatic voice. And Lee started laughing, setting his empty bottle on the counter before turning and grinning at Barney, already in the doorway, "Dork."

Barney tried an innocent look, which would have worked better if Lee hadn't seen the familiar self-deprecating laughter in his eyes, "It was *your* request."

Shaking his head but unable to keep from smiling at the man walking right into his personal space, Lee allowed himself to be over-gently manoeuvred until his back was as good as cradled, consciously short-circuiting his reflex to snark, Barney's hands laying easy on his hips. 

"Wasn't a *request*." Had been a not entirely random thought he hadn't caught before it escaped and made the subject of his thoughts that much plainer.

"No?" Lee's eyes dropped with a shiver at that rumble, tickled just under his ear before soft moustache hairs stroked his for-now smooth neck, tipping his head to get even more access. And he had to smile to himself, trusting that Barney wouldn't see from even side angle, because it *was* a stroke, as fucking soft and tender as kissing Lee's literally bloody hand had been. "Sure sounded like one to me." And damned if Lee could help but fall a little harder with every new sappy facet his old friend let him see.

Which didn't stop him snorting his opinion of that line, "Too many years of your Colts 've deafened your ears."

The snort and laughter shook Barney's chest, and Lee's back with it. "You saying I should start throwing knives, instead?"

Even a second of the idea of Barney without his guns was enough to make Lee frown and wordlessly reach down and grab the hand on his left hip, and bring it to his lips to kiss the grip and cocking calluses around the thumb. 

He might have left the touch to stand as his response, if he hadn't felt Barney's breath catch for a few seconds too long. Instead, he shook his head on a sigh, hand still held against his lips, "Love you just as you are, Barney." Christ but he was letting his own sappy side show.

Straightening carefully, he turned around to meet Barney's soft-eyed look with what he aimed to be quiet firmness, "Just as you are, understood?" It was completely out of character to think of Barney doubting himself, but so was kissing his fucking *hand*; and having his voice shake talking about losing his head.

The silent nod he got was out of character too; and he realized, rather late though it was, that he was going to have to get used to at least *some* changes. They'd both behave differently with intimacy between them, all else aside. Maybe some of those differences were even good, if Barney let him care for him, this way...

But he wasn't in the mood to think about it, right now. The rising tone of the end of O sole mio filed through the room, making Lee smile at the faint memory of Barney raving, complete with wildly waving hands, about some performance of it, "You said you had a bed?"

\--

"You can keep the pants. Never fit me right."

Lee snorted softly as Barney took the excuse of tugging the cotton down to sneak stroking touches, as though he needed to hide what he was doing. "I can make anything look good; even raggedy-ass jogging pants." He watched those familiar fingers work at the buttons of his shirt, for the second time tonight, and thought idly about what words they'd shared. And which they hadn't. He looked up and waited until Barney's eyes raised, "I'll just leave 'em here, maybe?"

And watched, patient, as Barney took a minute to convince himself what question Lee was really asking. Watched that unbelievably soft look appear again. " 'Long as you want, Lee." Lee's eyes slipped shut as warm palms slipped over his skull, stroking shivers over his skin. Shivers that only got worse when Barney's rough voice started whispering, "To have, to hold: goes for you too, Christmas. Wouldn't choose to not have you with me; already had too many years of that."

And Lee just let himself savour those words for a bit, not paying attention when Barney's hands stopped their petting and went back to getting him out of his sling and clothes. That sounded as close to 'forever' as Lee needed; was permission to think of this as home. Of Barney as his...

"Come on, let's get you in bed before you pass out, Christmas."

The familiar carefully jollying tone tugged his thoughts out of their daze and he popped his eyes open to give the man a warning look. "Not near to passing out, Barney. Just enjoying sappy words from my lover." He read the wry look he got as disbelief more than reaction to being called on romance, but he was a big enough man to walk away from the temptation to argue. Especially when there was a bed nearby calling his aching body.

Then again... He grinned, carefully backing to that bed while keeping his favourite commanding stare on Barney to keep him in place. And Barney watched him, appreciation and curiosity turning to a dry suspicion. 

Once Lee got his naked self on the bed on his good left side, knowing his flinches hadn't stayed as hidden as he'd like, luckily leaving him facing Barney. Though he could have ordered the man to the other side; there was a definite fun in the Expendables' commander letting Lee boss him around.

"So," he smirked as Barney's eyes jerked up to his from staring a damn sight lower on his body, "Come on, you got to undress me. *Twice*. I've earned a strip-tease."

Hooded eyes over a familiar small smile that Lee could let himself see was flat-out fond, now. And Barney's shoulders shook with some silent laughter as he started to reach for the bottom of his T-shirt, and then slowed his movements, making Lee grin happily and settle his head comfortably on his folded arm, and instead crossed his arms and got handfuls of cloth at the top of his shoulders. And started tugging up, half in time to the distant strains of cheerful Italian.

"How the hell'd you keep so tan when you hardly take your shirt off?" It might not be the most romantic of conversations, but if he didn't distract himself, he might just get stuck staring as he imagined what he'd like to do if he had full use of his body. 

Barney grunted as he got the shirt over his head, popping out of it with his still not fully dry hair flung up out of order and a smirk already in place for Lee. "Been noticing when I take my shirt off, Christmas?"

Resisting the reflex to get defencive, Lee grinned, "Hell yes. Don't try to avoid the question."

The laugh wasn't quite silent this time, and Lee soaked in the warm sound as much as he was eating up getting to stare all he liked at the stupidly well-built body of his friend. "I do have a yard to take care of. And.. I like to work out out there. Warm days just keep me trained for the more miserable jobs..." Lee's smile had faded to attention with the quieting words, watching Barney's face instead of the rest of him, even as jeans were slowly undone. "The rest of the time, the breeze and the blue sky are good companions."

"Sounds lonely, Barney."

Barney's face rose to him, far-away look in his eyes. "I guess," Lee's brows rose as amusement flashed the look of sad realization away, "I suppose you're going to be changing that?"

The jeans were given a push and slid down. And Lee let the slow grin crawl over his face as a certain part of his anatomy indicated very clearly its appreciation of the freely-offered view. "Damn straight, lover. You're stuck with me." He shifted to his back as Barney shuffled his socks and underwear off, "Got lube?"

"Drawer." Barney nodded at the bedside table near Lee.

He had to sit up to reach in and fish out the tube, going still for a few daydreaming seconds when he shifted the condom box while getting one out, and felt textured silicone brush the back of his hand. 

The bed shifting besides him pulled him from the arousing as hell vision, and Lee turned to the man about to lay besides him, ”What are you doing?"

"Easier if I'm on my-" Barney started to turn on his stomach.

Lee glared, "Not a chance. Want to kiss you."

A quick laugh, soft, and still tinged with wonder, followed him as he lay back down under Barney's warm eyes. "Stubborn bastard."

Lee snorted, smirking, "Hell yes. Lay on me." And he laid still, tossing the condom on the now empty pillow, to let Barney find his own spot, almost straight over him, except that he avoided Lee's bad shoulder and leg by resting his elbow on the bed next to Lee's good bicep.

The slow press of hard abs on his half-hard cock was *just* fucking right and his eyes drifted closed. He was damned glad the pleasure was still enough to beat out the ache that had been growing with the evening; he wasn't near ready to give in. 

Rocking his hips up to grind even closer until Barney stirred against him, he felt warm air flow over his cheek and opened his eyes to find Barney's lips an inch away, his eyes as closed in pleasure as Lee's had been. Slowly using his fingertips to unscrew the cap of the tube in his hand, Lee muttered, ache too real in his bad shoulder to need any reminder to not use it, no matter the temptation, "Give us a kiss."

Funny how quick you got addicted. Watching those lips that he knew, now, were soft as all hell, even when trying to demand surrender from him, left him impatient. Hungry, as the usual crease curled up into the much rarer smile that tugged up those soft hairs that felt so surprisingly good... "Come on, Barney!"

"Bossy brit."

He didn't have a chance to retort to that smoky razzing before he got what he'd asked for. Barney's free palm callus-rough on his shaved skin, tipping his chin up for lips and tongue and fuck but this felt good. 

Too damn easy to lose himself in the intimacy, in the hand slowly stroking down his chest and the slow rock of hips together; but people didn't call him stubborn for nothing, and he wouldn't have survived all these years as Barney's friend with his sanity intact if he wasn't strong enough to focus on the reward.

It was an awkward reach, and a distant voice tried to point out that he was being just a little abrupt. But as he got a well-slicked finger stroking gel from behind Barney's sack, slowly back and forth over smooth skin, the moan that broke their kiss wasn't a complaint. Lee smiled, eyes still closed to focus, blindly finding the bottom lip he'd been trying to suck at and tugging it between his teeth; Barney's distraction unabashedly boosting his own pleasure. 

Stroking further, his palm gliding over a hair-roughened curve no longer covered in material sent his fingertip skipping over wrinkled skin that twitched sharply. And they both stilled for a few breaths, their lips barely stroking, awareness clearing enough for a few seconds that he could hear the deep music from the other room. Then Barney's muscles relaxed, and Lee had to fight himself to stroke again, resisting the momentary urge to rush the niceties. Except that something in Barney's responses made him think he maybe needed this. And there just wasn't much Lee wouldn't do for the man. 

Licking past broken teeth, keeping his finger stroking slow; mind getting stuck on a loop of possessive 'mine mine mine' and deepening the kiss.

 

Half lost in their hungry kiss, Barney's hand holding Lee's jaw, both of them trying to take control without actually forcing the other down, his thoughts were dazed. This shouldn't feel so fucking different. Lee's fingers weren't so different than his, bit less thick, bit longer; just as rough and scarred. But *he* only did this to get to the point. Lee.. Lee was using it to drive him crazy!

He hadn't really noticed the initial bout of stroking, attention on their kiss, on touching Lee. But now the sneaking need had suddenly hit critical and he came aware of fucking needing more, groaning deep and deliberately trying to get that finger to quit fucking around just stroking around his hole. Feeling the lips under his curl into a pleased smirk but unable to do anything about it.

Fffuuuuckk... not *near* the same when it wasn't his own fingers!!

Only borderline noticing that Lee had softened the now sloppy kiss, he was lost in the weird feeling of.. fucking **stroking**.. *inside*... who would have thought- Slick, so damn slick he could almost not notice that second finger slide in, except it forced just a bit of stretch and he tightened automatically, and *fuck* that- He heard himself groan from a distance, felt himself drop heavily on Lee's good side, shuddering as he lost interest in weird in favour of wishing Lee'd focus on- THAT! Fuck yes. Sweet slow burn of pleasure and need spreading through him. So fucking better than anything for being able to suck at Lee's tongue at the same time, feel him shudder, KNOW he wasn't alone; know what LEE tasted like aroused. Slide his hand over the accessible part of his chest; hard muscle, coarse hair catching on calluses, damp with both their rising temperatures. Fuck he'd needed this for so long.

But as perfect as it felt, it was slowly driving him crazy! Because Lee, for all the tension in his frame and the way he ground himself against Barney, was NOT speeding up, no matter how Barney tried to shift his hips in a clear message. He was just fucking making him shake and shiver and NEED, damn it!

Then he did react, sliding the fingers *out*, which made Barney fucking *whimper* at the emptiness, dropping his lips to Lee's freshly-shaved neck, and grinding his painful cock against Lee's side, even knowing it wouldn't make the ache inside less.

"Barney! Need you to-" The breathless voice got through Barney's pleasure-soaked brain and he remembered the plan. It still took an effort to make himself move, not used to fighting the drag of this kind of hunger. He finally got himself straddling Lee's thighs, keeping his weight on his own knees rather than lee's bad leg and beating Lee to the lube rolling next to them. 

About to blindly throw it in the general direction of the dresser once he had some slick on his hands, he caught himself, eyes focusing on the heat in Lee's. And he had a bright moment of thinking he might actually be wanting to find it again in the nearer future than usual. 

Not wanting to deal with that baggage right then, he grinned into Lee's rising curiosity; and flipped and offered the tube as though it were a knife and he was presenting the handle.

Lee gave him a 'you're nuts but I love you anyway' look, then took it and carefully twisted to drop it on the bedside table, freezing with a moan as Barney deliberately picked that distracted moment to wrap his slippery hand around Lee's cock and tug it up from his stomach with a tight stroke, wondering what the fuck he'd done so right to have daydreams come true twice in a day, to feel his touch welcomed. If he hadn't known those abs were bruised all to hell inside he'd have deliberately weighed his other hand on them, just to feel more of Lee's power, push him that little bit more.

"Have I mentioned I got a whole new 'preciation for that gun hand of yours?"

Barney reluctantly glanced up at the rough words, eyes lazy and even more hungry for the sight of his fucked-up hand wrapped around that leaking shaft than he was for Lee's face, tight with need, "Good to know. 'Cause I'm pretty damn fond of your *gun*." Giving an extra squeeze to the next upstroke, watching moisture seep out the tip and deliberately letting his wrist slide on it, wide streak of hard, burning silk locking his mind and body on the thought and reality -fuck yes, need this, want this!-.

"Jerk."

Barney grinned at the gasp and thrust of hips shoving that long cock through his fingers and against the underside of his forearm again; feeling so fucking *carefree* he didn't really know what to do with himself. 

"Barney-"

"Shut up." He smirked as he gave back the same answer he'd gotten earlier. Squeezing just less than what would be too tight for *him*. Shuddering at the feel of Lee swelling even more in his grip.

"Fucker." 

Oh that breathless tease was too good an opening to resist. He saw Lee had his eyes closed, obviously lost in the feeling of Barney's touch, and Barney rose easy to his knees, waiting until the last second to change his hold to where he could lower himself down enough to feel the burn of that slicked shaft touch him. Fuck.. His eyes dropped shut at the stab of need that ripped through him, and left his fucking ass feeling *hollow*, and if he wasn't so used to controlling every muscle- He made himself focus, deaf to everything, to shuffle awkwardly until the burning tip -of Lee's *cock*! Christ...- was right where-

His head fell back, every muscle from his jaw to his toes clenching with the streak of pleasure, "Fuck! Oh fuck yes!" he'd been aware of feeling open, of muscles responding to the need to have something inside; hadn't thought, wouldn't have EVER thought after years using toys, that anything could slide in that far that easy!

"Lee." Blind and deaf to anything but the blood rushing in his ears and the burning pleasure when he tightened his ass around Lee, he felt a hand land on his thigh and grip hard. And he made himself open his eyes and look down, unable to focus for a second. When he did, when he could breathe again, when the pleasure wasn't so new and overwhelming, their eyes locked without even trying.

And aside from the hunger held in check in his tensed, unmoving muscles, Barney read... some crazy possessive greedy *need* in his lover's eyes. He was too fucking far gone to try to think about it, though, so he ignored it, covering Lee's hand with his and gripping his own thigh with the other. And trying to keep his eyes open as he rode up, moan in his throat at the streak of pleasure.

"Barney!"

The hand on his thigh clenched, short nails digging in, Lee's stomach rippling with the same movement that sent his head back.

"Fuck! Slow, Barney! Want-" A groan cut off Lee's words when Barney slid all the way down and ground himself in a slow circle, clenched tight to feel every second of it. "Want this to last," fiery eyes met Barney's, "Want to feel you, fuck you, a good long time," This time it was Barney that just about cried out as Lee thrust up, grinding them that little bit closer, his balls squeezed against Lee's pelvis. "Want both of us feeling it tomorrow."

"Fuck yeah." It took them a few *fucking good* tries to find a steady rhythm that he could keep up, took longer to get used to the strokes of pleasure enough not to keep having to catch his breath; though nothing could stop the moans from escaping. 

His eyes drifted shut; long and slow was good, fucking good to feel the heat just simmer inside him, listen to Lee's pleasure and feel him- fuck! FEEL him! Inside Barney's body, hard and twitching and *hot*.

He'd never been a dancer, but when they found that pace, found the flow.. it *was* a dance. Slow and smooth, drawing apart and driving together, a steady rocking squeeze and release and their sounds of pleasure much realer than the rise and fall of the distant music.

All his empty life, never felt this. Felt loved, felt taken. His mind flying free, unshackled by the pleasure he rode. He wasn't alone; and he didn't have to control anything. Lee didn't need his protection; not even from Barney's black heart. 

He could lose himself in this and Lee would keep him whole, keep him sane and safe, his touch anchoring his lost soul. Lee's cock sliding up his ass setting fire to more nerves that he'd known he had, marking him forever as *his*. 

"Want.Hand?"

His eyes opened at the breathless question, but it took a minute for Lee's reaching hand and nod to explain the offer, absently staring at his own stiff cock as he made himself focus. Yeah, he was aching, throbbing even, fluid seeping out as he watched, but.. they were still dancing and he gasped with the stroke. "No." he grabbed and squeezed Lee's hand, "Too good. Don't- fuck! Don't need it." Though staring at Lee's eyes was worth the effort of keeping his open. Dark as sin and just as sweet as they stared back at him, flying with him as their bodies danced.

And then that expression changed to awe, and then to wild need as Barney felt him tense under him.

"Fuck. You- beautiful. Mine!"

It was all the warning he had before Lee thrust up, out of sync, hard, sending the loose mental flight up in smoke. 

No more dancing; he fucking needed to *come*.

"FUCK! Blind. Yours. Need-" He dropped his hands next to Lee's shoulders and leaned forward, needing the leverage, wanting more of Lee's power.

Except the move shifted the angle of Lee's next thrust and Barney stiffened with a choked-off cry, "Fuck yes there!" The pleasure that had built so slow and steady was suddenly exploding out, blasting with it his awareness of anything but the fire burning hot under his skin, and hotter through his cock.

One of the last things he felt was Lee's hand at his neck pulling him further down, lips fumbling on his, and then the unbelievable feeling of Lee letting himself go and pounding into him. Hard and strong and if there was any fucking way Barney would have wanted to FEEL every second of that, but he was gone to his own pleasure in the next instant.


	5. Chapter 5

He'd still been dazed with that blast of pleasure when Barney'd carefully shifted off him and to the side, making him whine faintly at the loss. He knew he couldn't handle any weight on his damn body right now but that didn't stop him *wanting* it! 

Now he could feel his leg was throbbing faintly from his not-quite careful use of it, there at the end; but the rest of him was still echoing with faint waves of pleasure, and afterglow had him half-asleep, anyway. 

Except that even though his eyes were closed heavy, his mind had enough awareness to soak up Barney's rough fingertips stroking the side of his skull. Way too slow and tender to be idle; he knew if he forced his lids up, he'd catch some crazy soft look on his old friend's face. On his *lover's* face. 

The warm expanse of skin that had wrapped around his side, maybe in response to his whine, more likely from Barney's own, no-longer-hidden, appreciation for touch, expanded on a breath that streamed across Lee's throat; those fingers tracing a clear message into his skin, even without Barney's familiar lazy gravel, husked intimately low, adding to it, "So good to touch you."

Regret for the hurt he'd caused cut through the ease he'd been floating in, and he knew he must have tensed when Barney snorted softly, a smile curving against Lee's shoulder, "Cut it out, Christmas."

It took a minute for the unabated, unchanged, cuddling to undermine the guilt, but he wasn't really in any condition to hold a negative feeling, right then. He gave up with a grumble, sending his own fingers stroking the low of Barney's back, "Fine. Just take it as a compliment. I've missed out on this for...." Too damn long to contemplate with a satisfied lover nuzzling him.

He didn't notice, at first, when Barney started humming along with the distant stereo. But when quietly murmured words joined the soft sound, his eyes flew open. 

"Se bastasse una bella canzone, a far piovere amore." 

There was an unmistakable smile against his shoulder as the soft lyrics paused: *that* needed explaining as much as the sudden willingness to speak Italian. "Barney??" And no one was going to mention the slight breathless edge to his voice; he was still recovering from pounding his commander's ass, that was *all*!!

"Umm?"

"The 'ell that mean?"

"If only a nice song would be enough," Lee shivered at the soft kiss dropped on the front of his shoulder, "To make it rain love."

"..Damn." Lee knew the grin stretching his face was too fucking sappy for words, "This better not make my wrist too fucking limp to out-throw Tool."

The outright laugh he got for that was something else he'd missed out on. Missed knowing Barney had moments of clean joy; missed sharing them.

"Don't you worry, I'm sure I can think of ways to give your wrists a workout." Barney's hand trailing down to wrap around Lee's soft cock and give it a lazy tug left no doubt to the proposed routine.

Just as lazily rolling his hips to slide through that gentle grip, Lee took a second to wonder if they'd have been at it again like rabbits if his damn body wasn't in such a mess. Then he was distracted and tilted his head toward the music, commenting, "Hey, that's not Pavarotti.. that's Ramazzoti."

"Both. Can't believe you actually listen to this shit. Why the hell didn't you ever say??"

Lee smirked to himself, "And encourage you to rant at me about every new *tragic* destruction of a classic? What was that new group you called 'Pop-ified opera'??"

Barney's snort was hard enough to shake Lee's shoulder, colouring the following grumble with exactly the disdain Lee remembered. "Amici. Completely cheesy orchestration. Nice enough pieces and voices, but-"

Lee cut off what could easily turn into an hour-long comparison of singers and groups by the simple expedient of leaning down to seal not-yet familiar lips with his for just one deep curl of his tongue before he bit Barney's upper lip and pulled back to grin, "Right. That." Not that he really minded watching Barney get all animated and *Italian* and forget all about their fucked-up lives; but you had to have that hour of time and patience. Or at least access to drinks to last you that long.

Ignoring the unbelievably cute puppy-eyed pout being directed at him by *not* looking at it, Lee's eyes caught sight of reflected light on the pillow behind the mess of Barney's hair. And he winced, his sex-stupid brain finally kicking over something that had been niggling at him. "Err, Barney."

"Yeah."

"I know you can't get pregnant," the wild jerk of Barney's head flying up to meet his eyes made Lee smirk for only half a second before he continued more seriously as Barney caught sight of the condom neither of them had though to use, "And I swear I've always used one, before."

The shoulders that had tensed at the word 'pregnant' had relaxed again even before Lee spoke, so he wasn't that surprised that the only response he got was a snort as Barney settled back down against him, mumbling with obvious descending tiredness, "Been years. Been tested. Trust you. Sorry."

"Barney?"

"Umm?"

"Love you," he didn't wait for a response before continuing, gently shifting his arm under Barney's neck to keep him from falling asleep, "But we should wash up. And I think I need a couple Ibuprofen if I want to sleep through the night."

A grunt and half-closed eyes and Barney dragged himself up, waving Lee down with a faintly self-deprecating mumble, "I shoulda grabbed a cloth earlier. And water. There's meds in the drawer."

The throb in his leg had gotten sharp enough that Lee wasn't inclined to argue with the gallantry, instead shifting to find the meds, flinching as something in his chest complained. At least Barney wasn't there to see him freeze and pant his way through the sudden stab. Fucking sadistic bastard and the shit they got off on. Of all damn nights he had to feel like a badly tenderized steak, it *had* to be when he wanted to have a few hours of hot crazy monkey sex; of course it did.

"You'd give me shit if *I* tried to pretend *I* wasn't in pain."

Lee looked up with a scowl in place, glad he hadn't jerked in surprise, at least. Not the least surprised at the sardonic look being aimed his way from the doorway. "Wouldn't stop you doing it."

Barney shrugged, walking over to Lee and the drawer, "True."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the opinions of Amici are not mine, lol
> 
> I should a) not post this until I reread tomorow, b) be asleep!! stupid work...
> 
> Se bastasse una canzone ------------ If a song was enough  
> Luciano Pavarotti & Eros Ramazzotti  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sK0GuKQPfRk
> 
> se bastasse una bella canzone ----- if only a nice song would be enough  
> a far piovere amore ------------------- to make it rain love  
> si potrebbe cantarla un milione ---- It could sing a million  
> un milione di volte -------------------- a million times  
> bastasse già, bastasse già ----------- enough already, enough already  
> non ci vorrebbe poi tanto ------------- it would not take that much  
> a imparare ad amare di più... ------- to learn to love more ...


End file.
